I felt pretty flat this week. I can’t think of a better way to say this, other than just; SpiderMonkey was a dick. He has a huge ego, reads way too much into things and, contradictorily, makes huge assumptions. I decided, unless he can chill the fuck out and be a normal friend, I am only going to associate with him as much as I need to in terms of working and climbing; he just causes me too much grief.
I’ve been a bit out of character lately; I have spend 4-5 days being either drunk or hungover and only climbed twice this week. Thursday I had a horrible session because I’ve somehow managed to injure a tendon in my left arm; sort of around my bicep/elbow. So I was in agony before I realised climbing through the pain probably wasn’t the best idea. I feel super lazy having not climbed today, but I needed the rest. Just have to tell myself it’ll be worth it to have it heal properly. I’ll get in the gym on Tuesday though, ease myself back into it. I don’t want my strength to diminish.
After work last night I went to the club next door with a few friends who work at the restaurant/bar a few doors down. I worked with them for their Melbourne Cup After Party and got my first taste of bar-tending in a festival-like setting. They’re all really cool guys, although the bar manager is keen on me and I am just not attracted to him in that way, I think I should highlight the fact that he is 27, and I am 19.
I drank with these guys at the back of their bar from 3am - 11am. It was a pretty crazy night/morning. The drunken, over-tired breakfast was a strange experience. I felt so detached from my environment… you know when you’re just that exhausted and drunk, that you don’t know what is going on? Anyway.. I think I have a little crush on one of the bar tenders. He’s very easy on the eyes, classy, British accent, Greek heritage and; from what I could tell; he is quite intelligent. His older brother is a singer in a blues band and he invited me to go to their gig on Tuesday. I can’t wait. It will be nice to do something a bit different. I am working that day though so hopefully I can have a sneaky climb at the gym for at least 2 hours.
Now the week is over, I’m laying in bed, ready to have a proper sleep and start afresh tomorrow morning. My tonsils are incredibly sore and inflamed; I smoked a lot of cigarettes last night and Friday. I’m pretty disappointed in myself. I haven’t given my body a break or a chance to get over this lingering cold I have. Come tomorrow, I’m going to get back into my proper diet, re-initiate my routine, and reboot my brain.
So, I’ve been pretty absent lately. I’d love to say I’ve just been a bit lazy, but that’d be a big fat lie (in this case). No, I haven’t been lazy. In fact I recently discovered that my favourite person in the whole world, SharkBoy, has cancer. Yep. The big ‘C’.
It came as a huge shock to hear the news. It’s just like people always say; “You never think it will happen to you, and then one day.. it does”
I mean, who would ever think that growing lump on my boyfriend’s neck could be cancer? I guess you’re just blind until it’s staring you right in the face and yelling it in your ear; “It’s CANCER.” Thankfully the haematologist didn’t break the news quite like that. In fact it was more like “I’d be fucking celebrating if it wasn’t cancer.” Gee, thanks man. That was exactly what we were hoping to hear..
I think it was the way he told us that made my reaction so lagged. He gave it a name - Lymphoma which made it more real, but he couldn’t define whether it was Hodgkin’s Lymphoma or Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma without doing a biopsy on the nodes in SharkBoy's neck. Apparently Hodgkin’s is the one we want.
It sounds stupid to say you’re hoping for a particular type of cancer. Like, as if one could be better than the other, because it’s all still cancer. The way I see it, cancer can go fuck itself. We’re gonna fight this disease, however long it takes. So SharkBoy can get his life back.
Since noticing the lump in early June or late May (If i can remember correctly), SharkBoy's doctor told us to watch and wait for ages (months in fact), he was never given any antibiotics in case his lymph nodes were just inflamed from a cold or something. It wasn't until about the end of July that a fine needle aspiration was done and found to be inconclusive (we now know this is an eerily common thing for people who are eventually diagnosed with lymphoma). After this, the GP told us to wait again, which I found completely ridiculous. When we saw her again she finally seemed concerned. She referred SharkBoy to a specialist called Gavin who got things moving and referred him to another specialist called Hieu, who did the surgery.
The surgery was done on Monday to biopsy some of the lymph-nodes in his neck. We were told that if it was safe enough they would remove the entire lot of nodes. But unfortunately, it didn’t work out that way. We get results Wednesday on what type of cancer it is and then we’ll know what sort of treatment he will have to go through. Which I assume will be chemotherapy anyway, but the type of chemicals that they will use will depend upon the stage his cancer is at and what kind of cancer it is. He’s a toughie though and I know he’ll get through this, or rather; we’ll get through this, together.
You can read the journey from SharkBoy’s perspective here.
I was having a relatively normal day today. I woke up at 6am for work, got dressed and ready then went to the kitchen. I was having a glass of juice when suddenly DUN DUN DUN!! I felt like i was gonna spew. So I didn’t eat anything or drink anything after that and went to work.
At work I felt hellz to the lightheaded so I kept drinking water and eventually it was just too much so I left early. The 35 degree heat wasn’t much help but I managed to get on the train and make it to the city. Wasn’t long before the sickness was unbearable and I quickly ran towards the doors. The transit officers thought I didn’t have a ticket or something so they asked what was wrong, I basically said I’m gonna throw up and then the doors opened and I yakked all over the platform. The officers were so nice they help me clean myself up (vomit stained pants isn’t a good look) and called my mum to meet us at the station near my house. They escorted me all the way there and cleared the seats on the train so I could rest my eyes :)
I found it funny that the first thing they asked me after i vomited was “Have you had any substances that may have made you like this?” thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt guys.. can’t a person just be sick anymore?
So anyway, I made it home and got to eat tons of sugar cos mum says it helps, sure whatever you say mum atleast I get shitloads of sugar